An Illusion of Normalcy
by Searching for Serenity
Summary: A Halloween story. The Connor Family goes to their neighbor's Halloween party. Humor fic. Hints of pre-ship for John/Cameron and Sarah/Derek. One-shot.


Summary: A Halloween story. The Connor Family goes to their neighbor's Halloween party. Humor fic. Hints of pre-ship for John/Cameron and Sarah/Derek. One-shot.

Disclaimer: I don't own _Terminator_: _The_ _Sarah_ _Connor_ _Chronicles_, nor do I own _The_ _Wizard_ _of_ _Oz_.

* * *

**An Illusion of Normalcy**

It's a Sunday morning in mid-October, and the four members of the dysfunctional Connor family are sitting at the kitchen table having breakfast. Everyone's eating pancakes, except for Cameron, who's silently watching the rest of them eat.

John pauses between bites, looks across the table at his mom, and casually says, "Hey Mom, you know, Halloween's coming up."

Sarah's sipping her cup of coffee. She raises her eyebrows at John, then slowly lowers her cup to respond, "Yeah, so?"

John grins at his mom, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "Kacy's having a Halloween party! I saw her outside yesterday and she invited us. Can we go?"

Sarah frowns slightly in disapproval and replies, "John, we have much more important things to be worrying about right now."

John sighs, and his voice takes on a pleading tone. "Oh, come on, Mom! It would be fun to do something together like a normal family for a change."

Cameron interrupts this exchange to ask, "What's Halloween?"

John looks at Cameron and patiently explains, "It's a holiday where people dress up in costumes. Kids go around their neighborhoods in their costumes and get candy from everyone. That's called Trick-or-Treating. Adults use Halloween as an excuse to have parties."

Cameron tilts her head to the side in confusion. "Why do people dress up in costumes?"

John smiles at her. "Just for fun. Sometimes it's fun to pretend to be someone your not, even if it's just for one night."

Cameron blinks at John, then responds, "Oh. Thank you for explaining."

Sarah tells John over her cup of coffee, "You get to pretend to be someone else everyday."

John directs a scowl at his mom. "It's not the same and you know it!" Then he adopts the pleading tone again, this time accompanied by huge, puppy dog eyes. "Come on Mom, please? You won't have to worry about anything. I'll take care of the costumes. We could have a theme or something." John suddenly grins wildly. "Oh my God! I have the perfect idea! You'll love it, Mom!"

Sarah raises her eyebrows and asks in a clearly unenthusiastic voice, "Yeah, what's that?"

John's nearly bursting with excitement as he responds, "You're favorite book! _The_ _Wizard_ _of_ _Oz_! You could be Dorothy!"

For the first time, Sarah seems to be amused by the conversation. She smiles at her son as she says, "We already have Tin Miss, here. She could be the Tin Woodman."

John takes that comment as a sign of encouragement. He then turns toward Derek and says, "Okay, well, that just leaves you and me, Derek. Let's see, there's the Scarecrow and the Cowardly Lion. You could be the Scarecrow."

Derek looks up from his pancakes in surprise. "What? I never agreed to do this!"

John pleads with Derek desperately. "Come on, Derek! We need you to pull off the theme! It's either the Scarecrow or the Cowardly Lion, and 'cowardly' just doesn't fit you."

Derek glowers at John. "You've got that right!"

John smiles soothingly at Derek. "So, I'll be the Lion and you can be the Scarecrow."

Sarah interrupts with a small smirk on her face. "That seems appropriate. The Scarecrow doesn't have any brains."

Derek turns toward Sarah indignantly. "Hey! Are you calling me stupid?!"

Sarah gives him her most innocent look. "I didn't say that."

Derek clearly doesn't buy it. He scowls at her. "Well, I think this whole idea is stupid! Why are we even considering this?"

Sarah calmly responds, "John has a good point. It would be nice to pretend to be a normal family for one night, and besides, Kacy would be hurt if we didn't at least make an appearance."

Derek seems flabbergasted by this change in Sarah's attitude. "I thought you were against this, too!"

Sarah gives him a level stare. "I changed my mind. I think I'd enjoy being Dorothy."

Derek raises his voice in frustration. "Well, there's no way in hell I'm dressing up in a scarecrow costume and going to some stupid party!"

Sarah gives Derek a wickedly insincere smile and says, "If you don't come to the party, then you get to stay at home and pass out candy to the Trick-or-Treaters."

A horrified look crosses Derek's face. "Oh, God, no! Anything but that!"

Sarah says in a satisfied voice, "Well, then I guess it's settled."

* * *

A few days later, John comes running down the stairs and into the kitchen where Sarah's sitting at the table pouring over possible leads on Skynet.

"Hey, Mom, great news! I made some calls, and found a costume shop that has all _The_ _Wizard_ _of_ _Oz_ costumes in Adult sizes! Can I go buy them today?"

Sarah looks up from the paperwork. "Okay, just take Cameron with you. Do you know what sizes we need?"

John's already grabbing the keys to the truck. He calls over his shoulder, "Yeah, Mom, I got it covered. Don't worry about it!" Then he's running back upstairs to get Cameron.

* * *

When John returns with the costumes a few hours later, he reluctantly hands his mom a bag with an embarrassed look on his face.

Sarah takes the Dorothy costume out of the bag and exclaims, "What the hell is this?!"

John cringes and ducks his head. "Sorry, Mom, it's all they had."

The Dorothy dress is labeled 'Sexy Dorothy', and the picture on the outside of the package shows a skirt that barely covers the wearer's backside.

Sarah looks at the costume with disgust and says, "Can you return it?"

John pulls the receipt out of his pocket and looks it over. "No, Mom, sorry. The receipt says _All_ _Sales_ _Final_."

Sarah frowns at the dress, "Well, I guess it won't kill me to wear it. It's only for one night." She studies the costume, deep in thought. "Slippers aren't going to work with a dress like this. I guess I'm going to have to buy some heels. But what color?" She looks up at John. "What do you think, John? Should I get silver, and be true to the book, or red, like in the movie?"

Cameron, who had been standing silently beside John during this exchange, suddenly speaks up. "I have some red heels. You can borrow them. We wear the same size." She then turns and heads up to her room without waiting for Sarah's reply. Sarah looks at John with raised eyebrows. John just shrugs and shakes his head. A few moments later, Cameron returns with a pair of shiny, red platform stilettos.

Sarah looks at the shoes in shock. "Where in the hell did you get those? And why do you even have shoes like that?"

Cameron replies, "I bought them at a specialty boutique. I needed clothing that would help me blend in."

Sarah exclaims, "Those shoes are the last thing you should be wearing if you want to blend in!"

John bursts out laughing. "Yeah, really! About the only place you'd blend in wearing shoes like that is a strip club!" As if suddenly remembering her presence, he casts a hesitant glance at his mom. He blushes furiously, and mumbles, "Not that I'd know."

Cameron tilts her head to the side as she studies John's curious reaction. "What's a strip club?"

John turns an even darker shade, and whispers to Cameron, "I'll tell you later."

Sarah glares at John and puts her hands on her hips. She declares in her most authoritative tone, "No, you won't! She doesn't need to know, and you have no business discussing things like that with her!"

John nods silently and hurries up the stairs to his room before he gets into any more trouble.

* * *

The day of the party, John and Cameron are in the bathroom, both putting on face paint in front of the mirror.

Cameron turns to look at John. "Does my make-up look good?"

John turns to face Cameron, giving her make-up a cursory inspection. "Yeah, it looks great, Cam."

Cameron looks down at her Tin Woodman jumpsuit. "Does this costume make me look fat?"

John looks at her in shock. "What? Where would you get an idea like that?"

"At school. Two girls in the bathroom were saying that their clothes made them look fat. Do I look fat in this?"

John shakes his head vigorously and exclaims, "No, Cam! God, no! You could never look fat! Your body's not fat at all. In fact, it's...well...perfect."

Cameron blinks at John, studying him for a moment before asking, "Do you find my body attractive, John?"

John blushes in embarrassment, and shifts uncomfortably, before mumbling, "Um, well...yeah, Cam."

Cameron tilts her head in confusion. "Then why don't you act like it?"

John sighs. "Because, Cam, it's complicated. Things with you are complicated."

Cameron gently places her hand on John's forearm and stares into his eyes. "Things don't have to be complicated between us, John." Then she's brushing past him and leaving the bathroom before he's even had a chance to respond.

John stares after her with wide eyes. He mumbles under his breath, "I'll keep that in mind."

* * *

John calls up the stairs from the living room, "Come on, Mom! We're all ready! We're waiting on you! Hurry, or we're gonna be late!"

Sarah's voice is heard coming from upstairs. "Okay, John! I'm coming!"

They hear the clunk of her heels on the wood floor, then Sarah appears at the top of the stairs.

John gasps, "Oh my God!"

The Dorothy dress is just as obscenely short as the picture had indicated, and the neckline is low enough to show ample cleavage. Cameron's shoes only accentuate the inappropriateness of the outfit, and the twin ponytails Sarah is wearing give the entire ensemble a naughty-schoolgirl feel.

"I'm going to be scarred for live!" John mutters, covering his eyes and turning away as his mom descends the stairs.

Cameron seems unfazed by Sarah's appearance, but Derek, on the other hand, is staring wide-eyed at Sarah with his mouth hanging open.

Sarah shoots at murderous glare at Derek as she reaches the bottom of the stairs. "Don't say a word, Derek. Not one word, or I swear I'll kill you!"

Then she turns to Cameron and holds out her favorite handgun. "Here. Hide this somewhere in your costume for me. I can't conceal anything in this getup!"

* * *

The Connor family walks up the steps to Kacy's front porch. The porch has been lavishly decorated for the party. Strings of orange and purple lights drape from the ceiling, along with tissue paper ghosts. Some fake spiderwebs hang in the corners, a fog machine is blowing, and intricately carved pumpkins sit on either side of the front door. Sarah steps forward and rings the doorbell.

Kacy answers her door wearing a Pirate wench costume. She greets them with a huge grin on her face. "Hey! I'm so glad you guys could make it!"

Sarah smiles back and replies, "We wouldn't have missed your party for anything!"

Kacy gets a good look at the four of them and cries out excitedly, "Oh my God! _The_ _Wizard_ _of_ _Oz_! You guys all look great!"

Sarah glances at Derek with a mischievous twinkle in her eye before saying to Kacy, "Thanks! I think Derek's Scarecrow costume turned out particularly good. What do you think?"

Kacy beams at Derek and declares, "You make a perfect Scarecrow!"

Derek smiles weakly at Kacy and forces out, "Thanks."

Kacy steps back and holds the door open, gesturing for them to come in. "Well come on in, the party's just getting started! Sarah and Derek, feel free to help yourself to the beer in the fridge. John, Cameron, there's punch and snacks on the coffee table."

Derek mutters, "I need a beer," and makes a beeline for the kitchen.

Kacy puts her hand on Sarah's arm and says, "Oh, Sarah, come with me! I want you to meet some people." Sarah smiles politely and lets Kacy lead her away.

John and Cameron head into the living room and toward the snack table. There's a bowl of frothy purple punch, along with some Chex Mix, chips and salsa, ghost-shaped sugar cookies, Halloween themed cupcakes, and caramel apples rolled in crushed peanuts. John sees the caramel apples and his eyes widen with excitement.

"Caramel apples!" He exclaims. "I haven't had one of these in years!" He picks up one of the apples by it's stick and begins to eat it eagerly.

Cameron watches him with puzzlement on her face. "I don't understand. Why are you so excited?"

John looks at Cameron, and says through a mouthful of food, "You've never had one, have you?"

Cameron replies, "No, I haven't."

"You've got to try one, Cam! Here, have a bite of mine." John turns his apple around, and offers her the untouched side.

Cameron studies the apple for a second. Then, instead of taking the apple out of John's hand, she tilts her head to the side, leans forward, and takes a bite of the apple with her eyes still on John. Then she straightens and slowly chews the apple.

"Well?" John asks after she swallows the bite. "What do you think? Do you like it?"

Cameron replies. "I don't know. I can't taste."

John sighs, disappointed.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could taste it." Cameron says with a small frown on her face.

John smiles reassuringly and offers her a glass of punch. "It's okay, Cam. Here. Take a glass of punch and just act like you're sipping it now and then."

"Why?"

John whispers to her, "It'll help you blend in."

"Oh. Thank you, John." Cameron takes the offered cup.

John finishes eating his apple, and then gets himself a glass of punch. He leads Cameron towards some empty folding chairs that have been set up, and the two of them sit down and watch the rest of the party-goers. Most of them are adults, but there are quite a few younger children running around as well. There's a Karaoke machine set up at the other end of the room, and at the moment a large, burly man dressed as a Viking, who's obviously intoxicated, is singing the Madonna song "Like A Virgin" while attempting to do a provocative dance. John decides it's going to be an entertaining night. He sits back to enjoy the show.

* * *

After several cups of punch, John excuses himself to go to the bathroom. When he comes back, Cameron isn't where he left her. He panics momentarily, and begins searching the house for her. John finds Cameron standing at the bar in the kitchen, handing out Jell-O Shots to four small children.

He frantically hisses at her, "Cameron, no! Those have alcohol in them!"

Cameron calmly looks up at John. "Yes, I know. The alcohol is a vodka, 80 Proof."

John's hands fly up to his head and grip his lion's ears in a panic. "Then what are you doing giving them to kids?!"

"The serving cups are child-sized, and children seem to love flavored gelatin."

"Cameron, kids aren't supposed to have alcohol! It's against the law!"

Cameron frowns slightly in confusion. "Then why put it in flavored gelatin?"

"They're called Jell-O Shots, and they're meant for adults. How many did you give the kids, anyway?"

"Each child had one."

John begins to babble, "Okay, okay, it'll be alright. I mean, they only had one. Things could have been worse. Um, let's give them some water now. Maybe that'll help."

Cameron states in a matter-of-fact tone, "Water does nothing to counteract inebriation."

John stares at Cameron, at a total loss. "Oh...uh...well... let's just not tell anyone about this, okay?"

Cameron gives John a small smile and says, "It will be our little secret."

* * *

Two hours into the party, Derek's consumed a twelve-pack of beer and Sarah decides it's time for them to take their leave, before Derek gets out of hand. John's still having fun, and doesn't want to leave yet, so she agrees to let him and Cameron stay a little bit longer. After thanking Kacy for a wonderful time, she drags Derek out the door. Once outside, Sarah heads across the yard toward their house at a brisk pace, while Derek stumbles behind her.

As he makes his way across the yard after Sarah, Derek finds himself staring at her exposed legs. The ridiculously high heels, and obscenely short skirt make her pale legs look incredibly long and slender. He suddenly calls out to her in a slurred voice, "You know...I never realized before...but you've got _**nice**_ legs!"

Sarah spins around, and angrily struts back to him. When she reaches him, she swings her fist and punches him in the jaw, knocking him to the ground.

Derek stares up at her with wide, startled eyes while rubbing his jaw with one hand. "Ow! Damn! What the hell was that for?!"

Sarah glares down at him. "For leering at my body and making rude comments!"

"I wasn't rude...I just said you were sexy! Can't I appreciate your body?"

"No, you can't!" Sarah snaps, turning and starting back toward the house before Derek can see the blush on her face. She calls over her shoulder after him, "Are you coming?"

Derek watches her hips sway back and forth with each step. He mumbles under his breath, "With you, in a heartbeat."

* * *

Author's Notes: First of all, I should say that I do not condone the giving of alcohol to minors, nor do I condone the consumption of alcohol by minors. If I offended anyone with that scene in my story, I apologize.

This story came to me in a dream. Yes, I actually had a dream that involved the Connor Family dressing up as the characters from _The_ _Wizard_ _of_ _Oz_ and going to Kacy's Halloween party. And, yes, Sarah was wearing the 'Sexy Dorothy' costume in my dream! I woke up from the dream laughing, and since I could remember most of the dream, I decided to make it into a story to share with all of you! I would love to get your reviews! Constructive criticism is welcome, but no flames, please! Have a Happy Halloween!


End file.
